Myth Monday #4: Dogs should be social with everyone.
Wouldn’t the world be so amazing if everyone just loved each other and got along? World peace would finally be reached and my social anxiety would be much improved. However, that’s not the case and it probably will never be the case. In a perfect world maybe…and the world we live in is far from perfect. So if we as humans can’t get along with everyone…why do we expect our dogs to? As someone who has had both extremes of socialness with my dogs past and present, one dog who was completely anti-social and one dog that I call the neighborhood dog park greeter…the idea of dogs being social has become very important to me.
Dogs are genetically very social beings. Most dogs love being around their humans and are okay or absolutely adore meeting new people. The issues arise when a dog is not socialized correctly or has bad social interaction that create fear and anxiety.
The critical socialization period for puppies starts around 3 weeks and extends to 16 weeks. These first 16 weeks of a pup’s life are ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL. There are lots of arguments that puppies shouldn’t be allowed to touch the ground until they have all their vaccine boosters but as a trainer and veterinary technician I cannot stress to you enough how important it is for you to socialize your puppy BEFORE they finish their vaccinations. Once their vaccines are finished, you have missed that window of critical socialization! This is why I recommend puppy classes ASAP, starting at 8 weeks of age. Being in a group of other puppies in a safe environment like a vet hospital or other training facility is appropriate for pups this young.
Puppy classes are a smart, fun, and safe way to socialize your puppy, and you’ll learn a lot about training as well. But if that’s not really your style, there are other ways to socialize your puppy. If you have a friend or family member with a friendly and fully-vaccinated dog, you can have play dates in a fenced in back yard. Check out your local vet clinics, pet stores, and other dog care facilities to see if they host puppy play groups. I do NOT advise taking your puppy to the dog park until they are fully vaccinated AND spayed/neutered. Even then, I’m a bit iffy about dog parks, but that’s a story for another post.
As your pup grows into an adolescent (ages 1-2 years), they begin to gain confidence and play may become rougher and their preferences for play partners may change. This is where you might find out that your dog is just not as social as you had hoped. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR DOG! I cannot stress this enough.
Let me tell you a story about me. I am a very easy person to get along with. I tend to be fairly social and easy to talk to. Very rarely do I meet someone that I don’t get along with. But low and behold, I met that person. Let’s call her Nancy because I don’t know a Nancy. Nancy was friends with many people in my one social group that I spent a lot of time with. At first, I could tell she wasn’t my cup of tea, but I sucked it up and just bit my tongue when she made snide comments about people. See Nancy was a bit of a…snob is the only word I can think of. When talking to Nancy she came off very shallow, judgmental, and sometimes just downright rude. One day I was at a party with Nancy and said group of friends and Nancy made a comment about her dog. Being in the vet field, she asked for my advise on something and I gave her some. Because it was not the answer she wanted from me she looked at me, stated that I didn’t know what I was talking about to which I replied “Yes, I’ve been in the vet field for 10 years and you’ve taken your dog to the vet once so you must know better than me!” I immediately got up and walked away. After that, I never was in the same room as Nancy again. I won’t go to parties she’s invited to and if she’s with my group of friends, I will simply find another time to hangout with them. Now, Nancy did confront me about my issue with her via Facebook one day. I simply told her that I’m an adult and I simply do not have time for drama or toxic people in my life and I do not wish to pursue any type of friendship or relationship with her. She understood and we went our separate ways.
Now why did I tell you this? Because I made a choice to not be friends with Nancy anymore because I simply didn’t like how she treated more or other people. So if I can make that choice, why can’t my dog? It’s important that we understand that dogs communicated differently from us. They communicate through body language. And if one dog is giving off bad vibes, another dog may pick up on it and not want to be around that dog. What’s most important is that we allow our dogs the choice to be social or not.
Now if your dog has not been appropriately socialized as a young puppy, he may never be social with other dogs. It’s much like if you were staying in a basement for a year and not leaving your home, you’re not going to have the same social skills as someone who has been out and about in the world meeting and talking to all different types of people. We all lived through COVID, we know about this stuff.
The most important thing is that you listen and watch your dog. If your dog is socializing and at any point or seems uncomfortable, don’t worry about hurting anyone’s feelings…remove your dog from the situation. Much like my issue with Nancy, I just got up and moved on. It was better than me having a screaming match with her right? Removing your dog from an uncomfortable social situation is a much better option that the dogs fighting and possibly getting injured.
So do the biggest service to your dog and let him/her be whoever they want to be. If they want to be social, increase their socialization, if they aren’t…find other ways to be with your dog at home or maybe hike in the woods in the early morning when no ones around. Having an unsocial pup can be challenging, but accepting who they are and what they’re comfortable with is a very important way for us to keep our dogs safe and happy.
That’s all for now folks.
